Rozaline North (north) wrote,
Rozaline North

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What a week this has been

Its finally Friday. This week has seemed to last forever. I'm glad its over with. I still cant grasp the fact that I am already back in school. It feels so strange... All these new people are talking to me about things... and its weird for me, cause I never thought they knew I was alive until this first week of school. I dont know what to make of this yet.

Since school takes up most of the day, I havent really been doing much. Tomorrow a bunch of my friends and I are getting together for a picnic somewhere. It will be very fun, like summer never ended.

I spent the more memorable parts of today writing a story. Well, starting to write a story. Its only about a page in a half so far, but I dont think I have done anything to screw it up yet. But I'm sure that sooner or later it will turn out like all the other stories that I write and end up throwing out. A piece of melodramatic crap. But, so far, I like it a lot. Its great when you do something that you can be proud of. Its like it gives you a sense of purpose.

People change a lot easier than I would think was possible. I am really starting to learn that this year. A bunch of people came back to school completely different. And, I dont know, I guess that there are so many different parts to one person, that its hard to know all of those parts. So you see one part, and you assume that thats all there is inside of them. But then you come to realize that there is so much more. I guess it's a nice thought when I see it written out like this, but it sure can be confusing too, cause you get so used to the people you thought everyone was, that when you realize that wasnt all of them, you have to come up with a whole new opinion of who you think they are. I dont know. The whole idea confuses me.

Then that leads me to my next thought: Are people walking around thinking the same thing about me? Because I know that I am different from how I used to be, but this part of me was always here, I just never showed it to anyone. So, maybe everyone that I think has changed, hasnt really, but they are just being another part of themself.

Whenever I think about things like this... how people change, and how there are so many different "people" inside one of them, I think about a book that I read called "Steppenwolf". I never finished the whole thing... I think I stopped reading about thrity pages from the end. It was a very depressing book. Very interesting, but so depressing that I couldnt finish it. But the main idea of the book is that there is this guy, and he is kind of "battling" the two parts of himself. One is the calm and quiet type of guy, and then the other is the "wolf from the Steppes"... The wild part of himself I suppose. It was really interesting to read about it. It kept on talking about how in a person, there are millions of parts inside of them, that they didnt know existed in themselves. So many people and different personalities, that you cant even slpit them up between a man, and a wolf. That there is the murderer and the "popular guy" and the recluse, and everything else in between, and that the person himself decides which parts of him to keep held back inside, and which parts to show people. I guess I just think that things like that are interesting. And I suppose I have drifted off the topic enough for now.

I think I will write later on. I meant to write in this entry about the talk me and my mom had yesterday about how this country doesnt seem to have any type of culture anymore. But I guess I have written enough for today to bore you. Until then...

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