Rozaline North (north) wrote,
Rozaline North
north

things are looking up

things have been different lately. lets list the new additions to my life, shall we?

my friend, and my mom's patient died today. he had been sick for quite some time, and i knew it would only be a short time before it would be all over. but i dont know what i feel about losing him. he was a kind old man that wanted happiness, and hopefully he finally got it before he went. its not at all real to me as of yet that hes gone. the funeral is on thursday at ten in the morning. mom said that if i want to go, that she'll let me miss school. normally, i would jump at the chance to get out of school. but, i dunno. funerals scare the crap out of me ever since the one in '95. i cant decide if going would make me feel better, or if it would just be too much for me right now. one more decision to make i suppose.

on a happier note... my grandpa is out of the hospital and back at his house. hes doing pretty well, and i am overjoyed that he got better so quickly. to lose him would kill me. literally.

lately, despite my friend passing away, i have been in almost good spirits. these past few days have been amazingly fun for me, and i find myself focusing on the good things instead of the bad. i have found something to keep my spirits up. something that makes me feel good, and helps me to have something to look forward to every day. i have been out with friends for three nights in a row, going to shows and seeing people and hearing good music and coming home late. i have spent those past few nights laughing and smiling, and not thinking about all the things that have been troubling my life lately. i hope that this keeps up, so i will continue to feel physically good, as well as emotionally.

(this isnt really important, but it has been making me feel better for some reason, so i will list it anyways.) i have been working on a drawing this whole past week of this old man without any teeth sitting on a stoop, and hes got on this awesome old hat, and its a really neat picture, off of the cover of my copy of cannery row. i drew it in pen, scribbling the lines to shade, and i am very proud of it. today i spent almost the whole of it on a new ink drawing of a little boy holding an american flag. i used the scribbling technique, and i am very glad to have drawn two things that turned out decently.

well, i guess thats it for now. nothing else to write. but i am glad to say that things have been looking up... despite the few downs here and there.

-roza-
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